Desperately seeking sleep

When I first started telling people I was pregnant, someone told me to get all the sleep I could because once the baby arrived, I would never sleep again.

I never imagined he would be so right.

I knew babies didn't always sleep through the night. I accepted that. The first couple months where Peanut needed to eat every three hours around the clock. But I was on maternity leave for eight weeks so I was able to nap here and there when she did or at least rest. It was one of the bonuses of holding her while she slept. I was forced to relax some.

Then we went through a few months where she woke just a couple times a night, just needing to be swaddled or a pacifier stuck back in her mouth. It was better but still not great

That ended a few weeks ago.

Now, she gets up and will only think about going back to sleep if I feed her. This usually happens at 2 a.m. or 3:15 a.m. on the dot. I worried it might be my milk supply decreasing so she isn't getting enough at her last feeding of the night. We mixed breast milk and formula one night and it took almost two hours and waiting until she feel asleep before we could get her to drink it. (I'm doing all I can to keep my milk supply up because I would ideally like to nurse for a year. At this rate, I'm not sure it going to happen but that is another post to come).

The next night, we fed her dinner of carrots and cereal at 8 p.m. because our schedule was off. She only woke once and just needed her pacifier.

Then the next night she woke at 3:40 a.m., refused to go back to sleep until I fed her. She still wouldn't go back to sleep so I held her for awhile and by the time she went to sleep, I had to go to work. That made for a pleasant day.

She's usually not too fussy. She just babbles and screeches to herself. While it is cute, it still keeps me awake. I know how Linda over at All & Sundry feels. There is an eternal debate where I know I should just leave her be and she will eventually go back to sleep. But how long is that going to take? And if I'm already awake, shouldn't I just help her back to sleep?

I don't remember the last time I slept through the night. I'm guessing I've only had a handful of completely peaceful nights in almost seven months. It's starting to wear on me.

But like Linda tells herself, this too shall pass.

At least, I hope so.