In it, she brought up another very important question that I think if we all answered honestly, the answer would be YES!
Here's what Amy, who was told at 18 that she wouldn't be able to have children and now has a 1-year-old son, had to say:
I love my job and being a teacher allows for a great parent schedule. I think it's a good balance because I work and I do get time off with my son on all the major holidays and summers. I can't lie, though, that those of you that wanted children and longed to be mothers, I envy you. I think I just accepted I would never be a mother. This job is the most difficult job I've ever had. I am terrified that I will somehow mess him up. I feel like I'm fumbling through this. I have great support with my family and his father is definitely involved, but I'm still clueless after nearly a year.
Do we all feel this way?
Everyone together now: YES!
I wanted children. Always knew that at some point in my life I would have children. I prepared and started to read all the pregnancy books even before I was pregnant.
I still feel like I'm fumbling.
I have such a fear that we will all be in such a hurry in the mornings that Peanut will be left in the car while we go to work. I get everything I can done the night before - packing lunches, diaper bags, making bottles, getting coffee set, laying out clothes. Anything I can get done to make the morning run a little smoother. And still, the few mornings I take Peanut to the sitter feel hectic to me.
I had to stop reading the week-by-week book because I was freaking out that she wasn't meeting every milestone. I was driving myself crazy when the book said she should be crawling around with ease and my little Peanut was showing no interest in being mobile. I still have this little paranoid fear inside of me right now because she can't clap and doesn't do "SOOOO big!" I know she's fine. She does dozens of other things but still, there is the nagging in my head that makes me try to get her to clap every chance I can.
Being a parent is the easiest and the hardest job to do. Easy because how can you not love that little person? Hard because, well, of the mind-numbing, crushing responsibility of that little person depending on you for everything.
That is part of the reason Hillary and I started this blog. We both needed to know that others felt the same way that we do but we also wanted to start a dialogue like this so that other mothers don't feel alone.
I just try not to get bogged down in the worry of it. I try to take time to actually enjoy Peanut sitting with me and not trying to crawl away. I enjoy teaching her new things. I relish in the little moments when it's just us and she looks at me with a gummy grin and leans in for an unprovoked kiss.
So, mothers of the web, tell us: Do we all feel this way? How do you cope with it?