Thursday, July 16, 2009

Performance review

I have my yearly review today at work, and that got me to thinking: What would a performance review from The Boy look like?

Maybe something like this:

Employee: Momma
On the job since: 1-11-08, with nine months of preparation prior to start

Strengths: excellent cuddler, builds big towers of blocks that are satisfying to knock down, good reader and singer of silly songs, provides milk and meals at appropriate times

Weaknesses: does not meet all demands in a timely fashion, seems to think she's the boss, adheres too strictly to seemingly arbitrary rules such as no standing in the bathtub

Goals:
1. Provide snacks on demand.
2. Read books as many times as demanded, even if they've already been read.
3. Accept that she is not the boss.

----

This boss is a bit of a tyrant. My goals for the next year of momma-ing look more like this:
1. Attempt (and perhaps succeed) at potty training.
2. Transition relatively smoothly from one child to two.
3. Keep entire family alive, clean and fed.

I aim high people.

What would your performance review look like?

3 comments:

mc298898 said...

Remember, you did once dream that he fired us.

desperate housewife said...

Mine would be: strengths- relatively patient, sings the same favorite songs over and over again, not excessively worried about what and when we eat, so long as we're not starving, always remembers to put on sunscreen, lets us take really long baths and brings us fun toys to use, almost always remembers to brush our teeth, keeps us in clean clothes and linens.
Weaknesses: insists that we DO occasionally eat, forcibly slathers in sunscreen, makes us take baths, makes us brush our teeth, makes us wear clothes. Yells when we jump on the couches. Tone of voice gets a little edgy when she has been asked the same question more than three times in a five minute period. Low tolerance for periods of prolonged screaming.

Michelle said...

Strengths: Gives kisses and hugs liberally (even too much at times); loves to sing, read and dance; picks out fun clothes; easily amused by little things.
Weaknesses: Circumvents certain activities such as putting bird seed in mouth or pulling whiskers from cat's face; ignores repeated demands between the hours of 11 p.m. and 5 a.m.; insists on baths almost every night.