Baby2 put on a little show for the Daddyman last night. The husband felt Baby2 kick for the first time, and then the kid continued to roll and kick and punch for about 10 minutes straight. It's the most continuous movement I've felt this pregnancy.
The pants that had previously remained baggy despite my expanding belly fastened this morning, but cut a half inch into me. I went to work with a rubberband pulling them together and a shirt covering the gap.
My mother, grandmother and sister told me all weekend I'm bigger this time around and carrying higher.
This pregnancy is becoming real to me. I'm afraid Baby2 is about to get a little more real than I would like.
The ultrasound is scheduled next week. I have given into the demands of the husband, the grandmas, my sister, Michelle and everyone else in the free world, it seems, and agreed to find out the sex this time around. Practically speaking, I know finding out makes sense. But I liked being surprised. As I told a friend, not knowing allowed me to wrap my head around being a mother without worrying specifically about how to raise a strong woman or an honorable man. And, if I'm being honest, knowing the sex kind of skeeves me out.
Pregnancy is creepy -- beautiful, awesome and empowering, but creepy. I am sharing my body with another living thing. That's weird.
I'm OK with sharing my body with an abstract baby. An abstract baby has no sex. It's just a wee blob floating around growing body parts, and I'm cool with that. But give that blob a sex and -- lord help me -- a name, and I freak out. Because PEOPLE have names and a sex. Oh my god! I'm sharing my body with another person. I don't really even like hugs that much; how am I supposed to be OK with another person hanging out inside me?
When I was younger -- and wanting to shock people -- I referred to fetuses as parasites. Pregnancy hasn't changed my view much. My babies are living off me; they are parasites. The difference is they are MY parasites and I love them. I don't need -- don't really want -- to know anything else.
I've been telling Baby2 there's nothing wrong with a little modesty.