Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The dark underbelly of pregnancy

As I've mentioned, I really like being pregnant. So it's with a little sadness I've realized I'm in the final stretch of what is probably, most likely, almost definitely my last pregnancy.

I'm OK with The Lad being my last baby. There was a time, right after The Boy was born, when I declared myself a pregnancy savant and demanded babies! More babies! The husband, to his credit, didn't run away or crush my hormone-addled dreams. He didn't have to because reality set in and I realized dozens of colicky babies would be expensive, loud and overwhelming in our little house. Two kids is a good number. I'm content being a family of four.

But the thought of never again feeling a baby dig his toes into my ribs does make me a bit wistful. So, I've been trying to think of things about pregnancy that irritate me. Here's what I've got so far:
  • Everyone thinks your belly is their business. The touching (without asking). The comments. The (unasked for) advice. UGH. I had a woman tell me today I was obviously having a boy because I "had no fanny." Unnecessary.
  • The belly makes toddler wrangling difficult. Getting The Boy into his carseat this morning left us both sweaty, disheveled and pissed off.
  • Round ligament pain. The first time, I thought I -- or the baby -- was dying. I know what it is this time, but it still hurts. (Especially when it wakes you up at 4:44 a.m. and you're unable to get back to sleep -- just sayin'.)
  • No Nyquil. No whiskey-laced hot toddies. I believe in natural remedies and prevention, but when I get sick -- really sick -- I just want something to knock me the hell out at night.
  • My bellybutton will never be the same. Sad but true.
What's on your pregnancy hate list?


Sarah said...

I, too, love being pregnant. I am at the stage where I have demanded to give birth to millions (yes, you read that right) of babies with the husband. Right now, it feels like two will just not be enough. But, I only have one and I'm not even pregnant yet. So we'll see.

However, I do *hate* the terrible charleyhorses I would get behind my knees in the middle of the night and sciatica pain. Horrible, horrible, horrible.

Stephanie said...

For me it's the heartburn/acid reflux, especially at night. Ugh! And the peeing every 20 minutes. And I still have over seven weeks to go.

Eve said...

Let us not forget the feeling that your bladder is about the size of a walnut. Not fun. Not fun at all.

Gerbicks said...

so let's see: sciatica, nausea for 9 1/2 months, vomiting/dry heaving near-daily for 9 months, sweating, round ligament stretches & yes even a round ligament hernia, inability to eat enough food at one sitting, inability to empty the bladder at one sitting, dizziness & passing out, itching belly, lung & bladder kicks from the baby, inability to shave anything below the navel, inability to see anything below the navel, loss of labido, extreme tiredness, heartburn, dry heaving, diarrhea...
after all of that i sorta enjoyed labor & delivery b/c the *end was in sight!*. & the nesting phase was also kind of enjoyable. & maybe the first few flutters before a member of cirque du soleil was teleported into my uterus--with the first--for 5 months.
it is very good indeed that some women enjoy pregnancy. but there's no way in hell that i'm going to try it again just in case i get lucky & have a good 3rd pregnancy.
thesis completed??

Tammy said...

Loved? No migraines for 9 months.

Hated? 3 months of straight nausea, killer calf cramps every night, and after 8 months, really wobbly hip joints. I nearly fell down the stairs once because my leg just went all wonky!

Can't wait to do it again!

k said...

I hate the hemmorhoids. Those muthas hurt.