I bought this book for The Boy the other day when it seemed to be staring me in the face while I birthday-shopped for one of his little buddies. I meant to break it out nearer to The Lad's arrival, maybe around Christmas, but ended up reading it three times tonight before dinner. (The Boy was a big fan.) The entire world seems to be conspiring this week to remind me, "Hey! you know that pregnancy you keep gushing about? Yeah, there's a baby in there. A BABY. You're going to have TWO kids. TWO." I haven't really stressed much about the logistics of two kids. Two seems reasonable, normal and doable, and I figured matter-of-fact talking about the baby would be enough to prepare The Boy, given the age difference. He's going to be days shy of 2 when The Lad arrives; he won't remember life without a brother. But then I was talking to my sister and in the background are two little boys clamoring for her attention NOW. And then I read this post from Clueless But Hopeful, wishing she had more time for everyone, including herself. And then I see a plea for advice for dealing with two kids under 2 on Motherlode.
And then I realized, "Crap. I'm going to have two kids."
The advice Motherlode readers offered, like most advice to parents, was often contradictory. Make time for yourself; just schedule your life around the babies. Pay most attention to the toddler; teach the toddler to be independent. Allow the toddler to help; expect to "baby" the toddler for awhile. The most useful tips, I thought, were the ones advising the mother to remember mistakes are OK and to not feel guilty for doing whatever works now. (Though, arguably, telling a new mother or, for that matter, any mother, not to feel guilty is like like telling the sun not to rise.)
I know, logically, dealing with two kids will be just like dealing with one kid: A total mess mixed with beautiful moments, with the proportions of each varying by the day.
But I started reading blogs -- and writing this one -- because I liked the community it created. I liked hearing from women who were going through the same experiences. So, at the risk of getting more contradictory advice, what are YOUR best tips for going from one kid to two?
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6 comments:
All I know is, and didn't know back then, was OMG it gets SO much easier within the next year. The first weeks are a bit crazy making, for most people, and you just gotta coast through the best you can. Each time it seems impossible, you just have to tell yourself, "Tomorrow is going to be better. And then the next day, and then the next, and voila! Six months later, this will all be a hazy memory."
don't be afraid to use benedryl?! but seriously, i don't know if i have any concise advice other than there will be terrible days & then joy filled days that fly by. & yes, lots of mistakes that will be laughable later. the boy is at a great age to love on the lad--now *that* will be beautiful & touching to see (something to look forward to aside from bottles of benedryl *smile*)
Hm. I have no practical advice but I am so happy that I will get to read all of yours come time for number two. :)
I do know that when you bring a new dog into the house you feed number 1 first, take no. 1 out first, give love to no. 1 first to avoid a dominance issue with no. 1 being jealous of no.2. You're establishing the pack order. May my infinite dog training wisdom be useful to you. :) LOL
Thank you ladies for the encouragement, and the laughs. Both the benadryl and dog-training comments made me chuckle.
I've always heard that the hardest challenge is going from 1 to 2. After that, it's no big deal. I don't know if we will see if that is true (going for three that is.) You will be fine. You handle everything with grace. In the infamous words of your mother, you can laugh, cry or puke.
Holy hell, I haven no idea. I'm glad you asked this as I need all the help I can get.
Hey! You're going to deliver first! You could tell ME what it's like.
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