A week before this happened, I reveled in making plans for my alone time. I looked forward to some me time. It would be the first time in almost 18 months that Peanut and I would spend a night apart. I told the husband I was really excited and thought it would be great for me.
Then it actually happened and I cried like a baby when they left. Sobbed. Peanut kept looking at me like I was crazy (which is really not up for debate). It was made worse by the fact that we were at my parents for an extended family Christmas gathering (which included a traumatic encounter with Santa) so I blubbered in front of a bunch of people who see me about once a year.
Then 10 minutes after they were gone, I was fine and I was looking forward to my plans again. I'm kind of like a toddler. I throw my fit and then you show me something shiny and I'm fine again.
I love my daughter more than anything. She has been my main focus since the moment I found out I was pregnant. But I also I know this little separation is good for each of us. Here are things I have been able to indulge in while she is gone:
- Watching television at 5 a.m. I usually creep around the house as I get ready in the morning lest I wake the husband and Peanut. I was actually able to watch the news and get prepared for my day at work.
- Not feel rushed to get out of work. Pick up duty is one of my responsibilities so I always feel the need to leave Right Now.
- Do something after work. See above pick up duty. I got a book store gift certificate for Christmas and declared that I would spend three hours there just because I could. I spent 30 minutes but it was still fabulous.
- Eating dinner in bed. I know, I sound like a lazy sloth, but I love to hole up in my bedroom when I can. It feels safe, comfortable and completely indulgent.
- Watch anything but Elmo. Do I really need to elaborate?
- Having my daughter run to me when I pick her up after work. Her smile, her little arms reaching for me melts my heart every day.
- The readily available kisses and hugs from both my daughter and my husband. Neither of them deny me when I ask, and will even offer without being asked.
- Laughing with my husband, who always knows how to make me crack up no matter how cranky I am.
- Reading to my daughter who loves any book you put in front of her. If I sit on the floor, she grabs a book and backs right up into my lap. Each page I turn, she exclaims, "Whoa!"
- Watching my daughter dance to Elmo. Yes, he's good for some things.
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3 comments:
Oh, those moments are so special. Good for you for enjoying your precious, precious time alone AND remembering what you miss. Holding them both in mind somehow makes it more precious to me.
(This was also a wake up call that it's been WAY too long since I had the opportunity to be alone in the house!)
wow, your time alone sounds glorious! eating dinner in bed, *sigh*...
i have been alone at home a few times. BUT i was sick both times, the type of sick with bodily fluids coming out each end. so it was not so great (however, it was nice to be sick & just focus on sleeping & not trying to take care of kids as well). one day i hope to indulge in this luxury, this being alone at home thing you speak of.
We've yet to bite the bullet and do a sleepover away from E. My parents have offered, we've demurred. I'm thinking it's time to suck it up before Iris comes home. Then who knows when we'll be leaving the house.
Being away from your child is, at best, love/hate. Love the free time, hate that you only get it because they're not there.
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