The husband: I think there's in an indentation in the mattress where your belly usually is.
Me: That is not something you need to tell your pregnant wife.
The husband: (hugging me) Oh, c'mon now. You're nine months pregnant and it's just your belly that's large (pause wherein he realizes he's on thin ice) all the rest of you is, um, no bigger than it used to be.
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Back off ladies. This smooth talker is all mine.
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