I've officially scheduled another C-section. I am not going to attempt a VBAC.
I know some people might not agree with this but this is what it comes down to for me: it is my choice.
It was not something I arrived at lightly. I researched. I agonized. I talked it out with my husband, my family, my friends, my doctor. I researched some more.
With Peanut, it took me awhile to come to terms with her birth. I think what really bothered me was that I didn't feel I had a choice in the matter. In the end, I got a beautiful, healthy little girl, who continues to grow and thrive every day. And that's what really matters to me.
This time I want to be the one to make the choice. I know what I am getting into. I am familiar with the process and while surprises could still happen, I know what to expect for the most part. The thought of a failed VBAC, going through labor for hours and hours again only to result in another C-section is not something I am prepared to deal with.
So instead, I'm going in for the C-section Dec. 29 and hope that Madeline Sarah will be just as healthy as her big sister and just as sweet.
I know that my decision is right for me but not necessarily for everyone else. I had a lot of encouragement from many of you when I was contemplating the VBAC. But I believe I am doing the right thing for me and for Madeline.