Friday, April 29, 2011

4 months old and a day

As you can see, Gizmo's hair is still rocker-tastic. It started to be tamed for a day or two but it went back to its wild ways, which I love.


She is starting to suck her thumb. It started a couple weeks ago with sucking on the hand and then suddenly she found her thumb seemed to be pretty tasty and easier than trying to stick her whole hand in her mouth. She still takes a paci sometimes but really just needs her hand/thumb.


At first I thought how great it would be to have a thumb sucker. I wouldn't have to do the bleary-eyed 2 a.m. crawl on the floor looking for all six pacis that have fallen out of the crib while the kid cries her head off (not that I've been there many, many times). You can't lose a thumb.

And then it hit me. You can't lose a thumb. So when it is time to be a big girl, I can't take her thumb away. Sigh. It's always something.

And while the 4-month mark opens the doors for solids, I don't think we are ready for it. With Peanut, I was so excited for this. I set her up in the high chair and tried and tried and tried to get her to take baby cereal. I fretted when she wouldn't. I stopped for a few weeks and tried again, and still she wasn't interested. I fretted that she wouldn't learn to eat before 6 months. She never was really into baby food and she's fine.

So this time, I'm not really pushing it. We might try in a few weeks but I am in no rush.

Gizmo continues to be a mild mannered, smiling, happy baby. She sleeps well, getting up once, maybe twice, to eat in the night. She's a drooling machine, which makes me think she might cut teeth sooner than Peanut, who didn't get her first until two weeks before her first birthday.

She rolled from her back to her belly this week. When Peanut heard the husband make a big deal of it, she jumped on the floor and told her sister, "Momma will be so proud of you!"

And I am.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Life lesson #4

I finished my laundry Wednesday morning. Laundry is a once-a-week chore in my house. If I don't start Monday with virtally empty laundry baskets, my world is awry.

Other things that have gone undone lately:


  • dusting

  • vacuuming

  • returning of library books

  • decluttering of the counter catch-all

  • calling my mom

  • planning grocery trips so we don't go to the damn store 15 times a week

  • planning dinners so I'm not throwing together whatever crap we have in the fridge, adding a frozen something-green and calling it good enough

What has gotten done:



  • Watching silly boys run around the room playing chase

  • Reading 11 books in April

  • Some writing

  • Some vacation planning

  • Trips to the beach

  • Trips to the park

  • Momma-Boy adventures

  • Momma-Lad adventures

  • Essential errands (you know, to the beer store and the running store, doctor's appointments and trips to Starbucks to get a mocha for me and gift certificate for a friend)

  • Playdates with friends and alcoholic beverages

  • Work

  • Basic care and feeding of the family

Oh, and I went to a concert last night, the second in as many months after years without live music. I saw the Avett Brothers, whom I like so much I named my kid after them. They were amazing live, and the weather was perfect for the open-air show. We went with another couple and parked in a garage a few blocks from the waterfron venue. Walking back to the car with my head full of their lyrics, we spotted a new bar, World of Beer, and talked ourselves into just stopping in to check it out. The husbands kept saying, "This is awesome," as they looked around at the walk-in refrigerators stocked floor to ceiling with craft beers and the wall of taps. I think we all felt a little like we were playing hooky. I'm still grinning this morning.


And that's always how I feel when we go on the trips and adventures that keep me from dusting my furniture or doing my laundry. Sometimes, mostly when I'm walking into the house after work and scrambling to get the kids fed and things kind of put away, I feel overwhelmed and tired by the cat furrballs rolling across the floor and the smudges on my white cabinets. I clean up the worst of it and feel a little put upon, but then The Boy says something funny or The Lad giggles as he chases the cat and it doesn't seem to matter so much.


Previous life lessons: #1, #2, #3.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Sick but not

I feel sick. But not sick enough to stay home from work. But still sick enough to make me miserable while I am at work.

I hate the in between.

I almost wish I would get sicker so I could stay home. The girls could go to the sitters' and I could have an afternoon of sleep. I had this thought when I first felt my scratchy throat and it made me a little happy. An afternoon of rest, even sick, sounds wonderful right now.

I have a terrible time missing work. I feel incredibly guilty so I must be practically bed ridden before I will call in sick. The husband thinks there is something wrong with that.

I know I would feel a lot better if I took one day to get some rest. Instead, I will keep forging ahead and feel sick for a week.

I'm a martyr like that. (And I'm not saying that with pride.)

I just feel run down. Gizmo is sleeping well but I am lucky if I get more than six hours of sleep. The other 18 hours of my day feel like I'm going full tilt.

Our weekends are full with little downtime. The husband sent me a list of things we are doing through June. I think there is one weekend where we don't have anything planned.

It is starting to catch up with me, hence the yucky feeling (but not yucky enough to stay in bed, which is where I should be so I stop feeling yucky.)

What is your threshold for staying home sick?

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The cuteness of Easter

Hillary gets hacked and I get a virus on my computer, which prevented me from posting these photos showing the cuteness of Easter:








And thank you to all of those who said "yes, my child is driving me crazy too" on my last post. I think we all needed to hear each other say that. At least they are cute when they do it.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Going crazy

I love Peanut but she is driving my bat shit crazy right now.

Is it OK to say that about your own child?

Well, I just did.

She is sooooo two right now. Ninety percent of the time she is as sweet as pie and 10 percent of the time driving me bat shit crazy.

The other day, she asked for an English muffin. I made it for her and she refused to eat it. She then asked for cereal. I made it for her and she refused to eat it. (This is a common theme in our life right now). I asked her if she was done with the cereal, she said yes. I dumped it down the drain.

And what did she do? Threw an aplopletic fit because she didn't want me to throw away the cereal she refused to eat. She fell on the floor, thrashing about, generally acting like a rabid animal minus the foaming at the mouth.

And THEN she complained that her belly hurt because she was so hungry.

At this point I prayed for strength and patience.

She has thrown a fit over the kitchen light. She didn't want the light turned on. Once I convinced her that we needed it on, she was angry that she didn't get to turn it on.

She throws fits over going to bed, going so far as kicking her door while screaming. Thank everything holy and pure that her sister, sleeping a few feet away does not seem bothered by the noise.

On Easter she threw the mutha of all mutha fits because I asked her stay downstairs while I took something into the room where her sister was napping. It was a 20 minute screamfest that including 10 minutes of her crying "no" to every one of my questions.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to send her away until she has a toddler of her own so then she can come back and apologize to us.

I hear three isn't much better. Awesome.

Gah.

Please rest assured I am not in London. I am not in need of cash. I do not urgently need your help and money.

An old email account was hacked today.* That was fun. Luckily, I have very smart and vigilant friends and caught it quickly, so I think everything is fine. But I spent all afternoon changing passwords and trying to convince Google, which immediately disabled my account because of suspicious activity, that I was, in fact, myself. As I said: fun.

The hacked email is my oldest account. I've had it since I started college. These days, it just collects spam, but it was an archive for love letters and song lyrics from my husband, hundreds of emails sent among me, Michelle and our other roommate in the years right after college, and dozens of emails about my babies. My email was like a scrapbook or hope chest. There were pictures from high school in there and my wedding. My grandpa, who is in his 80s, has started sending me emails to that address, some of the funniest things I've ever read. All of those things are now gone. I have them stored, too, in my gmail account, but for a few hours this afternoon when it looked like I was never going to be able to convince Google I was me, I thought those things might be gone for good. (insert saddest trombone song you ever heard.)

I've got some backing up to do, soon. While I'm changing more passwords, I'm curious: What's in your email (aside from the obvious financial info) that you would be most sad to lose?

*And fyi, the email I do use: hrcopsey (at) (Google)mail dot com.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Car naps

The Boy finally succumbed to sleep after 20 minutes of nonstop talking wherein we learned he had a pelican named Ralphie. Ralphie is a tough pelican; he eats bad guys with his beak.




The Lad gave up much easier, within a couple minutes of getting in the car.


Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The Amazing Lad

The Lad was "sick" last week. Daycare sent him home with a 102-degree fever. I was pretty sure it was just teeth -- those molars still aren't entirely out -- but the rule when a child leaves with fever is that you must have a doctor's note assuring daycare it's not contagious to return the next day. So I made a doctor's appointment. Unfortunately, the doctor disagreed with my diagnosis, saying the fever was too high for teething. Keep him home, he said, other symptoms will show up.


I worked from home, as much as one can work with a 16-month-old in the house. The only symptoms that showed up were orneriness, crankiness and an extra hour napping.


But this is not a post about me whining about the inconvenience of having both a job and a toddler (or two). This is a post about The Lad.





My little Beastie-beast probably, almost definitely is my last baby. He is not a first born child, and like so many younger children, he gets short-shrift. In an inbox folder labeled "Baby," I have dozens of emails sent by me, my family and friends while I was pregnant the first time and just after The Boy was born. The "Baby2" folder might have a half dozen emails in it -- maybe. I haven't looked to check. I don't send out updates to our distant families every time The Lad goes to a well-baby appointment, and those check-ups are always late because his birthday put us behind schedule. No one works on Christmas.


Poor little Lad was in his first pair of shoes so long that by the time I remembered to buy another pair, they were two sizes too small.


But he doesn't seem to mind his status -- part of the reason I kept forgetting to get him new shoes is that he never whined, though his toes must have been squished -- and, like so many second-born children (Michelle, my sister, et al), The Lad is anything but a second banana. Between that sick-day-that-wasn't and divide-and-conquer tactics by the husband and I, I've gotten to spend a lot of time lately with just The Lad. He's the star of his own show.





The Lad is 24 pounds and 10.5 ounces, according to the scale at the doctor's office this morning. That's 46th percentile. He is 32 inches long -- 79th percentile. The doctor called him sturdy and opined that other kids probably are pushed around by The Lad. He wasn't wrong.


The Lad remembered the nurse, who delivers immunizations, as soon as he saw her and whined. Although he patiently let the doctor listen to his heart and check his legs and belly, he drew the line at his ears and mouth, putting up such a fight that the doctor gave up, laughing.


The Lad has a growing vocabulary, and one of his favorite words is car. It sounds like "go." Although most of his words still are unintelligible to people outside our family, The Lad has no problem communicating, pointing and tugging on hands and pushing on legs until he makes his point known. He likes to jab you in the nose, eyes and mouth, naming each body part. He points at the TV and demands, "Ball!" (He likes baseball most when he knows it's time for bed and wants to buy a few extra minutes before hugs and kisses.)


The Lad says "bubble" clearly and everything liquid is a bubble.




The Lad is obsessed with brushing his teeth. Other than snacks, nothing makes him run faster on his chubby little thighs.


The Lad hugs my neck and lays his head on my shoulder. He holds one finger when we cross the street or a parking lot, but will twist away as soon as he possibly can. When he's tired, he climbs into my lap and lays against my chest. But if I try to contain him there and coax him into sleep, he clambers down and runs away.


The Lad, every morning, tries to scale his highchair to get breakfast faster. Every night, after he's done with dinner, he stands up and tries to climb up and out of his highchair alone. We're trying to teach him to say, "Done," and wait for us. He says "Done," and slings a leg over the side.


The Lad entertains himself, dumping out toys, lining up cars and making little figures and stuffed animals talk or fly or run. Every so often, he'll bring over a particular toy to show you then trot back to his made-up world. He tries to build with the blocks and just learned to throw a ball properly. He never plays with the big, plastic baby cars; he wants his brother's Matchboxes, thank you very much.


The Lad loves to be read to. His favorite book changes every few weeks; here they are in order from earliest to most recent love: That's Not My Monster, Hello! Thomas, Dr. Seuss' ABCs, Green Eggs and Ham, Country Frog City Dog, Panda Bear Panda Bear What Do You See?.


The Lad likes to be chased and tickled and to roughhouse with his brother.


The Lad will bully his brother if I let him.





The Lad, in the last week, has tried to put on his shirt, pants and socks. This involves smacking the appropriate body part with the clothes. The Boy always wants to race The Lad when they get dressed and usually wins the "race." One night, The Boy did not win; The Lad, fully-dressed, grabbed The Boy's jammie shirt and ran away jabbering. I'm pretty sure he said, "Beat you!"

Doing something for me

As parents, it is hard to find time to do something for you. The baby needs fed. The toddler needs attention. Work needs to be done so the bills can be paid. The house needs cleaned so the grandmothers can come over and not try to take custody of the children. Dinners made. Clothes washed. Butts wiped.

But I am trying to make more time for me (and the husband) so that I (we) don't lose my (our) mind(s). I struggled with this after Peanut was born. I felt guilty if I didn't spend every. single. waking. minute. with her or doing things for her or thinking about her. This does not a healthy momma make.

My priority is still my family as a whole but I am trying to take some time for me so I don't feel burned out and only ask for a break when I am at the end of my rope.

I hope there won't be an end of the rope anymore.

So here is what I am doing:

  • I challenged myself to read 100 books in 1 year. Even though I consider myself an avid reader, I have never done this before. So far, I am a few behind pace but I have managed to read 27 books so far this year. For having a baby, a toddler, a husband a job, I am pretty proud of myself. I read while I pump. I read while I'm making dinner. I read while I'm feeding Gizmo. I read before I go to bed. (The husband may hide my Nook if I keep reading like this).
  • I joined the gym at work. Why I haven't done this before is beyond me. We have a great facility that is directly below me. All kinds of work-out equipment and classes that include Zumba, pilates, yoga and high-energy aerobics. Plus it is super cheap and convenient. My plan is to go after work when the girls are in bed. Even if I can get on an elliptical (and read) for 30 minutes that will be better than what I am doing now, which is nothing. I need this as a stress reliever as much as I do to improve my fitness.
  • I am planning a trip for the husband and me. We don't get much alone time together given our work schedules. By the time I get home at 10ish, it's time to get things ready for the next day, feed Gizmo and hopefully crash into bed by midnight. Usually the husband plans our trips. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever planned one for us. Right now I'm leaning toward a long weekend in Nashville.
  • I bought my plane ticket to go to The Blathering in October. Hillary and I had planned to take a trip together this fall when Erica encouraged us to sign up for The Blathering. With the hopes of meeting some lovely ladies that we have become friends with through the interwebz, we agreed Austin would be our destination.
What are you doing for you?

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Something I love about parenthood

The Lad has been waking up screaming several times a night for the last few weeks. Maybe it's teeth or night terrors, or maybe he's just a ridiculously light sleeper like his daddy. I don't like this.

But I just went in to quiet him. He'd been crying for several minutes and was just getting angrier. Patting his back pissed him off, too. I pulled him and his blanky -- yes, his is getting as stinky as his brother's -- out of the crib and sat in the rocker. His squalling face made me laugh, and smiling, I started singing Dr. Seuss's ABCs in his ear. He screamed past the four fluffy feathers on a fiffer-feffer-feff, past little Lola Lop, past the policeman in a pail. He finally stopped at Rosy Robin Ross and her red rhinoceros. He literally cried himself to sleep in my lap. By the glow of the nightlight I rocked as The Lad cuddled against my chest. Belly to belly, I felt his breathing slow and even out into sleep after one last shuddering sigh. I finished my horrible, off-key song and just listened to my baby's breath and rubbed my face against his soft curls.

I don't want to think about the day my boys are too big to snuggle on my lap like that.

Monday, April 18, 2011

I am sorry, Gizmo

Dear Gizmo,

I am sorry. I haven't started a baby book for you. Come to think of it, I don't think I have a baby book for you. I haven't taken as many pictures of you as I did with your older sister, who was the subject of constant photo shoots for the first few months of life (Come to think of it, I'm surprised she doesn't have something wrong with her eyes given the amount of flashes she saw at a young age).

There aren't many pictures of you around the house and I just sent out your birth announcements last week, almost four months after you were born. I haven't even ordered your photos taken at the hospital.

You haven't been held for every one of your naps. Just a few on lazy Sunday afternoons. You haven't been rocked to sleep every night but that is because you don't always need it. You don't have much of a problem going to sleep on your own. You have no problem taking your morning nap in the swing while your sister and I get ready for the day. You just hang out with a look that says, "I'm cool. Do your thing. I'll be here when you're done."

Sometimes you have to wait while we deal with your big sister, change the laundry, make dinner or any one of the million other things that need to be done during the day. But you seem to be OK with that. You don't mind hanging out on the floor while we work around the house, your excited babbling and constantly moving legs signs of your contentment. You are OK with sitting in your bouncy chair, kicking your feet to music like O.A.R. (not Taylor Swift thankfully, unlike your sister) while I fold laundry.


"Don't worry about me. I'll be here when you get a moment."

I haven't obsessed over every milestone met or not met. The baby week-by-week book is gathering dust on the night stand. And yet, you still seem to be doing just fine.

Rarely do you wake up without a smile. You are even sleeping seven-plus hours a night between eating, giving me much needed rest. When you do wake, you just babble to yourself until I come for you, giving me a big, open-mouth gummy smile like I am the best thing you have ever seen. You even gasp like you are surprised I would come to get you.

Only two things make you really mad. A dirty diaper and when we stop moving in the car.

You are growing quickly. Your six-month clothes are so very close to being too small for you and you aren't even four months old yet. Your father and I think you are growing faster than your sister or maybe it just seems like that since you are our last baby.

I love your laid back style. You definitely get your disposition from your father and not me. Your fabulous hair is getting long enough to lay down properly. I will be sad when you don't rock your fauxhawk anymore.

And while we don't have dozens of framed photos of you hanging up yet, know that we love you. It is your lot in life being the second child but just know it doesn't mean we love you any less.

Love you,
Momma

Sunday, April 17, 2011

51 days

I've been lying to you, or to myself. Maybe a little of both.

You know how I keep saying we're done. No more kids. Two's enough. I love being pregnant so much; if we don't stop here, we might never stop. There's a lie in there somewhere. I just don't know where.

Here's what I know:
My cycle, which has been back since The Lad was about 10 months old, typically runs about 37 days between periods. Day 37 was in the last week in March.

The first week, I was ho-hum about its tardiness. Anywhere up to 42 days would be normal.

That mark passed. I took a pregnancy test, but at night. No big thing. I was not pregnant.

Another few days passed. I started to fret. I took another test, this time in the morning. We were not screwing around. (No pun intended.) It decidedly said "not pregnant."

Yet, my period refused to come. I started to get testy. I snapped at the husband. Why hadn't he gotten this taken care of sooner?! I apologized immediately, but said, "What the hell are we going to do with another kid?" (This was right about the time The Beastie had been kicked out of daycare for biting.) The husband looked at me and said, "Well, we'd deal. And we'd get to see The Lad as a big brother." I melted.

Still no period. I started to toss around names. I laughed thinking how having three kids with birthdays surrounding Christmas would make it look like the husband and I only slept in the same bed in March. I wondered what The Lad would say to a little brother or sister.

The next day, 51 days after the last one, my period arrived.

And I was relieved, so relieved the cramps didn't hurt.

At first I was thinking about writing a post saying I had lied: Maybe deep down I really want more kids. But then, I thought about my initial and final reaction. Maybe the lie is that stopping at two is only a practical decision. Two really is enough for me. I don't know.

Do you think you can ever know for sure, really and completely, that you're done having kids? I'm glad to be able to plan my family, but I wonder if this is the kind of choice you just have to make and hope for the best.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Our weekend

We actually have lots of plans Saturday. Swim lessons and a birthday party, a work thing and a hair appointment. A boat ride at sunset that might prove to be a terrible idea because of my extreme tendency for motion sickness and delayed bedtimes.

BUT .... If Sunday goes as planned, there will be a long, lazy time supervising this, preferably while enjoying a cold beer in the warm sun.



Also on the agenda, looking for flights to Austin.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Useless tidbits and pictures

* My hair is falling out. Lots and lots of hair gone. It is longer than it has been in years but I am tired of finding hairs all over the place so I am thinking of getting it cut. I did this after Peanut was born. For now, I just sport a pony tail or pony hair as Peanut calls it.

(I would show a picture of my hairbrush to demonstrate the immense amount of hair that falls out when I get ready but that just seemed gross. Just take my word for it. Damn hormones.)

* Gizmo's hair is falling out as well. I would guess at least half of it is gone from when she was born.

Going home from the hospital:


Now:



At least it is still long enough to sport her rocker chick style.

* This Saturday we have my nephew's soccer games, two birthday parties for three kids and a benefit for a friend's father. I am tired just thinking about it.

* Peanut is in love with the music from Beauty and the Beast. She makes me sing the opening song as we get ready in the morning. She loves the part where they say "bonjour." There is nothing cuter than a toddler singing "bonjour, bonjour, bonjour, bonjour, bonjour."

(Sadly I think I remember every single word to that movie from my childhood. Too bad my Econ work wasn't set to music in college. I would have aced it.)

* I haven't picked up a baby book to check Gizmo's progress in more than a month. It is quite liberating to just enjoy being with her and not charting everything. Right now I am watching her roll from her back almost completely to her side. If she keeps going like this, she'll be mobile before we know it. I am not ready for that.

* And just some cuteness for your day:



Monday, April 11, 2011

Filling a toddler tooth

The Boy had his first filling this morning. The experience was not awful.

On the recommendation of our regular dentist, we took him to a pediatric dentist. At our last visit, you'll recall that she discovered multiple cavities, all in his back molars. The plan is to fill them one at a time because a 3-year-old can sit in a dentist chair only so long. We went into the office at 8 a.m. for the first filling; we were out by 8:39.

He looked so itty-bitty in the dentist chair. When they laid it back, his feet barely hit the middle. Sitting in another chair near the foot of his, I felt helpless. He laid still and obediently opened his mouth so the dentist and tech could wipe his gum with topical numbing stuff. He nodded when she explained that his tooth was going to feel fuzzy because it was going to sleep, but he was obviously nervous. His eyes darted around and it took him three times to answer her question of whether he liked strawberries or grape better. When he finally decided strawberries, they fitted a pink, rubbery piece onto the laughing gas tube so all he would smell was the artificial fruit scent. His hands fluttered and his body jerked when they set it over his nose. Just nerves, I think, but at that point, I couldn't stand it any more. I moved and sat on the end of his chair, rubbing his legs.

Once the gas was going and his attention was on a movie playing on TV mounted near the ceiling, the tech surreptitiously handed the dentist a big needle filled with, I assume, novocaine under The Boy's chin. "Look up, look up!" the dentist chirped and waited until his eyes were fixed on the movie to slide the needle into his mouth and pierce his gum. He never flinched.

What did bother him was the plastic spacer they put in his mouth to keep it open. It choked him. I understood. I hate going to the dentist not because of the scraping or drilling but because it makes my jaw lock up to have it open for so long. Anyway, the dentist immediately had the tech take it out and told him as long as he kept his mouth open wide, he didn't have to have the spacer in. He nodded, and he kept his promise. The laughing gas was making him a little loopy -- his arms were waving aimlessly, so I grabbed them and held them on his belly while the dentist drilled out the cavity and then sealed the tooth. I had a clear view of the whole process, which though kind of gross made me feel better somehow. I could see everything that was happening to him and see that he was OK.

The dentist was very good about explaining everything to him and telling him what was coming up as well as praising him for following directions. I suppose this is why you go to a pediatric dentist. They gave him some oxygen for a few seconds to clear out the laughing gas and then let him escape from the chair, which he was very ready to do. He didn't even wait for the thing to sit back up. He picked out a new card game from the toy bin.

I took him straight to school; he was fine if a little tired-looking from the gas and the dentist said the novocaine would wear off in an hour. His cheek was a little puffy when The Boy left the chair, but by the time I paid and we got out to the car, he looked mostly normal. Still, I warned the daycare ladies to watch him so he didn't bite his cheek.

"How's your mouth?" I asked on our way to school. "Does it feel OK? Does it hurt?"

He shook his head. It didn't hurt.

"But it's crazy up in there."

Indeed.


Sunday, April 10, 2011

Potty training fail

Potty training is exhausting. Especially when it isn't working, which is what we are dealing with now.

We decided to give it a good effort this weekend but, alas, it did not work. Peanut just does not want to even though she is perfectly capable. Saturday she had seven accidents and three successful attempts. She would not even consider anything but peeing on the potty.

Sunday dawned and she refused to do anything. Finally concerned about her well being, the husband put a diaper on a little after noon. She went straight for a quiet corner and took care of business. She had been holding it all in. Someone please explain what makes a child do that instead of just using the potty.

The husband has been a saint through this. I was ready to give up Saturday morning when Peanut screamed like a banshee while I tried to make her sit on the potty. He wanted to keep going and patiently worked with her through the day.

We rewarded her with things I got from the dollar bins at Target when she was successful and made a big deal of it. But getting there was difficult and included one bed change and multiple changes of pants.

(She refuses to wear underwear so we let her go commando or with just pants on.)

I know we aren't supposed to go back to diapers but I think we are going to while still encouraging her to use the potty. Until she wants to do this, she's not going to, no matter how fun we try to make it.

Sigh.

Peanut 1. Mommy and Daddy 0.

Any advice? Sympathies?

Edit to add: I almost forgot the best part of the weekend. The husband said he needed to change his pants. Peanut then asked if had peed in his pants. He had to explain to her that, no, he did not pee in his pants. He was just hot.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Wardrobe malfunction

As if getting sent home from daycare for biting weren't bad enough, then this happened to poor Beastie.




Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Baseball

The Boy had his first baseball fundamentals class tonight. He was working so hard. He's a rule-follower and earnestly listened when the coaches -- high school boys good-naturally adjusting hands on bats and tossing ground balls -- told him how to swing or pitch.

The coaches had to remind him repeatedly to watch the ball, not them. He tripped over the obstacle course and completely ignored the cones he was supposed to be weaving through. But he threw the ball hard and far and consistently assumed a proper batting stance.

He loved it. I loved it.

The mother of one of the other boys had his 2-week-old sister with them. My tall, intense boy seemed closer to the gangly teenaged coaches than to that squishy, soft creature sleeping in the carrier seat.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Things I want

But can not have ...

A toddler who potty trains herself without fighting me, without pooping or peeing on the floor or her bed. Who am I kidding? I just want a toddler who is open to the idea of using the potty. Instead I have one who just tells me she will poop on the potty on random days. "Um, momma, I poop on the potty on Saturday." On Saturday, she tells me she will do it on Wednesday.

More sleep. I can only partially blame Gizmo for this. By the time I get home, talk to the husband, get things ready for the next day, and take a few moments for myself, then feed Gizmo it is past midnight and that is on a good day. She then wakes up anywhere between 3 and 7 a.m. If it is before 5 a.m., she goes back to sleep pretty easily. If it is after that, she won't go to sleep and usually ends up in the swing with me dozing on the couch.

To buy all the Nook books I want and not feel guilty. Warning, if you are an impulse buyer, do not get anything that gives you instant gratification from sitting on your couch. People, I might need to start a Nook Anonymous. I love just scrolling through all the selections (but WOW is there A LOT of erotica e-books. More than I would have expected. And I only know that because most of it is in the $5 and under books, not because I am looking in the erotica section.) Thankfully I've used mostly gift cards but Barnes and Noble doesn't make it easy when they send out emails tempting me with cheap books.

To lose 30 pounds by eating chocolate and drinking wine and coffee. Do I really need to explain?

What do you want but can't have?

Monday, April 4, 2011

Princesses, gummies and other crap

So, I told you I had several things percolating. I'm just going to spit it out in one go.

First up, the princess discussion Michelle's been having: I've loved reading all your comments, and every single one has just bolstered my argument, which is that the princess worry we all have -- and trust me, I have it for my boys, too -- is all a red herring. We worry because we want our girls to be strong and to feel like they can do anything. We worry because we want our boys to know what real women look like. But the thing is, the kids are OK. The girls especially are great. Girls, on average, get better grades in school than boys these days. At colleges, women out number men. Right out of school, young women in urban areas out-earn their male counterparts. The girls are not the problem, despite the Disney princesses, though I agree it is a creepy, money-sucking empire.

The girls are OK; it's the women who still are struggling. We still have a 20-cent wage gap between men and women in the same professions. Women still make up less than 10 percent of top executives. We still don't have decent family leave. These are the things that are curtailing women's choices, not princesses. I applaud every one of you mothers of girls who are thinking about those princesses and their effects on your daughters. Because you're thinking about it, your girls are going to be OK. I just think the real fight is not against Disney, specifically, but our lawmakers and culture in general.

---

Now, about the gummies: Lisa asked on Facebook if I was going to ask the daycare to stop giving The Boy gummies as treats now that the dentist has identified them as a possible cause of his cavities. I'll be honest. That thought crossed my mind for just a second when I listened to the doctor.

But here's the thing: Those cavities are my fault, too. I could have been more vigilant in supervising his toothbrushing. And I have been since our last dentist visit. (Nothing like shutting the barn door after the horse already has escaped.) I'm not willing to make The Boy miss out on a treat -- basically, punish him -- when a preventive measure might fix the situation. We told The Boy that gummies will make his teeth hurt if he eats too many, and he needs to be sure to tell us when he's had some at school so we can brush his teeth extra good. But I don't want to tell him we NEVER eat gummies. Never just means he'll want it more, in my opinion.

It's funny. Right before the dentist visit and the gummy conversation, I posted on Facebook this essay from Anna Quindlen about the best part of parenting. In the introduction, Lisa Belkin mentioned Quindlen's column, Life in the 30s, and I went and read an old one she linked to. (The one I just linked to.) It's all about food, and the politics of feeding your kid the "right stuff," organic stuff, preservative-free stuff, etc. I nodded along in agreement -- go. read it. I bet you do, too. -- then I looked at the publish date.

Quindlen wrote that in 1987. Twenty years later and we're still worrying about the same things. What does that tell you? It tells me that my kids can have a few damn gummies.

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So, here's a funny after all that ranting: The husband asked The Boy how to spell The Lad's name. His real name. The Boy said, "L-A-D."

Really. He spelled "Lad."

And we don't even call Beastie that normally. I'm suspicious that The Boy has learned to read and secretly is following Not Raising Brats.

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It's nearly Easter. Do you know what that means? PEEPS! I love Peeps. But only the yellow ones. Other colors just taste off. I am a Peep Purist.

However. Someone today showed me a recipe for S'meeps, s'mores made with Peeps. Guess what I'm going to be doing soon?

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Speaking of Easter, what are your traditions? Real eggs or plastic? Hidden outside or in? What's your favorite candy? (real; outside now, inside growing up; other than Peeps: Robin's eggs, which are malted milk balls)

Want to help?

Here's your chance.

The wonderful k is participating in the March of Dimes this year. Go Team Iris!

K, Iris and their family have an amazing story that you should read if you haven't. You can read the Cliff Notes version here.

This is where you come in. K has a badge on her site that if you click on it, you can donate to the March of Dimes. Consider it, won't you? I'm heading over there now.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Heroine: girlie girl part 2

Before Peanut was born, I found a simple magnet that said "Be your own heroine." It was the perfect message for my unborn daughter. I framed it for her, envisioning her taking it college someday knowing that I always believed in the endless possibilities for her.

*****

My mother got married when she was 18. College wasn't really an option for her, being the youngest of six children, plus it wasn't encouraged. So she married my father and helped him have a successful career, spending part of her time at home with us and then going to work when we were in school. They have made it work together for more than 40 years.

She has done well for herself but she always wanted more for my sister and me. College was our only option and she encouraged us to do what we wanted with our careers (even if that meant becoming a journalist). Her support and guidance helped my sister and I to know that we could have our careers if we wanted.

That is the kind of mother I want to be to my girls.

*****

When I was about 8 years old, my mom took my sister, me and a cousin to the movie theater. The two older kids were going to see "Turner and Hooch" while my mom and I were going to see "The Little Mermaid." I was indignant in all my 8-year-old glory. I didn't want to see some stupid cartoon. Those were for babies. I was not a baby.

But after it was done, I loved it. The music. The whimsy. The princess.

It was years later before I realized what a twit Ariel is.

*****

I finished reading "Cinderella Ate My Daughter" by Peggy Orenstein last week. I wasn't sure I would like it, mainly because I feared feeling guilty for letting my daughter play with all things princess. But it actually made me feel better. Even this woman, who wrote a whole book on how the girlie girl culture is out of control, let's her daughter have some princess things. It is natural for little girls to be drawn to tutus and tiaras.

The problem, however, can be when those are their only options in the toy aisle and they don't feel like they can play with dinosaurs or trucks or other traditional boy toys.

She also tackles the concept of our daughters being marketed for more mature toys at younger and younger ages - make up, cell phones, hooker looking dolls.

We had our own experience with a hooker looking doll. Peanut picked up a doll at the store and the husband wasn't looking carefully. When we got to check out, I looked.

"It looks like a hooker," I said.

The husband looked at it carefully, looked at me horrified and looked back at the doll. It had purple snakeskin knee high boots, a mini skirt, a coat with a faux fur trim not to mention big hair and even make up.

We made some quick plans to distract Peanut and asked the cashier not to ring up the doll. Unfortunately, Peanut wasn't distracted and she realized the doll wasn't coming home with us. The ensuing fit was of epic proportions.

There really wasn't anything to say to her. How was I supposed to explain she couldn't have the doll because it looked liked a hooker? These are not concepts I am prepared to discuss with a toddler and why should I? I would like to talk to the people who created those dolls and ask them that.

Even worse, last week I saw a story about Abercrombie & Fitch selling padded bikini tops for girls as young as seven. Whoever thought of that should really be examined. That is one store we will be avoiding at all costs when the girls get older.

Orenstein's book examines instances like this and so much more. If you have girls, it is really a must read. While we might not be able to shield our girls from hooker dolls and other inappropriate things, being aware of the possible effects is a step in the right direction.

*****

I still enjoy fairy tales. I love all things whimsical and hope me daughters will too. I took Peanut to see a musical production of Beauty and the Beast today.

But I also want my girls to know that princesses aren't their only option. Pink isn't the only thing girls can wear and that they can do whatever they wants (as long as doesn't involve dressing like a hooker).

Most of all, I want them to remember to be their own heroines. To not wait to be rescued and to know that I believe in them to have the ability to do so.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Stuff

My sister and I are planning a garage sale for this summer. In the process of this, we both started talking about the amount of stuff, specifically toys, our children have.

I feel like the stuff is taking over my life and possibly leading my children to believe that they can have whatever they want whenever thus leading to ... brats.

We have been blessed with friends and relatives who like to buy for the girls. We like to buy things for them. But when you start adding it up, there becomes a gluttony of toys that no one child could possibly play with regularly.

We have two toy boxes and multiple bins full of toys, most of which haven't seen the light of day for quite awhile. The husband I got sick of picking up the village of Little People toys - barn, house, amusement park, nativity scene - that we packed them all away. I don't think Peanut even noticed.

My mother-in-law (my lovely mother-in-law who has been so helpful in the past few weeks, watching the girls for us) and I were talking this morning about all of the toys. She loves buying for the girls, especially since she had three boys, but she said that she doesn't remember having so many dolls and other things as a kid. I don't either.

I could go into a rant about how kids are targeted by marketing, creating little gimme, gimme, gimme beings. But we also bear some responsibility. We don't always have to say "yes" when they want.

I want to change the path we are on. I don't want our house overtaken by plastic play things that are pulled out of the box only to be played with once or twice and shoved into the depths of a closet or toy box.

I started thinking about alternative gifts for the girls. Things like experience gifts, such as zoo passes or children's museum passes. We live within 90 minutes of two wonderful zoos, have a great children's museum 20 minutes away and another two near the zoos.

I also like the idea of magazine subscriptions. It's the gift that keeps on giving and I won't feel so bad throwing them in the recycling bin or using them for craft time.

Do you ever feel like your kids have too much? What about alternative gift ideas?