Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Thoughts on aging (and who people say I look like)

My sister is a hairstylist and nearly every time she sees me she tells me I need to color my hair to cover up the gray. She was shocked -- like as shocked as a church lady watching a sex tape -- the day I forgot to wear makeup to work. The texts I got went something like this: "WHAT?! HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN? ... There's no excuse."

But I kind of like my gray hair. And the laugh lines showing up around my eyes. I could live without the forehead furrow some days, and I have given some consideration to whether it might be worth gaining some weight and dealing with a larger ass in exchange for a more filled out face. But mostly, I like the what I see in the mirror more now than I ever did when I was younger.

This is not what I see in the mirror. But it pertains, I swear.

Years ago, when I worked at the grocery store, this hippy couple would come in every weekend to pick up produce. They drove all the way from Cleveland because they said we had the best produce, some of which was, in fact, grown on the farms around the store. I never had the heart to tell them, though, that at least half of what they bought was shipped in every week from a bulk produce market in Cleveland. Anyway, this couple was always chatty and cheerful and every week, they would tell me, as I weighed their bananas and tomatoes, that I looked JUST LIKE Marisa Tomei. I don't. But when you hear enough times that you look like a pretty woman, it sticks with you and I have a soft spot for Marisa Tomei. I like her even more now that I'm older, for all the reasons listed in this post at Tom & Lorenzo. (Do you know them? They started out as Blogging Project Rungay, and I love them. They are the only celebrity site I visit any more.)

I loved what they had to say about Marisa:

But what really allows her to wear this is her confidence. She exudes it every time she’s dressed up. ... She’s an actress in her 40s who doesn’t seem to have had any major work done on her face. She’s essentially aging like a normal person and that’s exceedingly rare in Hollywood. ...  It’s a “I’m sexy and gorgeous without fucking up my face” message and it seems to be serving her pretty well.
That's how I felt today, in just a regular old work outfit. It was just a plain white button down with a swishy skirt, but everything fit me and everything was something I liked and felt good in. I've been cleaning out my closets and replacing clothes -- with things that fit me! what a concept! -- over the last year and it's amazing to me how much I actually like getting dressed in the morning.

I still have days when all I can see are the stretch marks on my ass and the nonexistent boobs and the deepening brow furrow that reminds me so much of my biological father. But even on those days, having clothes that I actually like and fit and a haircut that feels like me makes so much of a difference.

Anyway, enough deep thoughts.

In addition to Ms. Tomei, I've also been compared to Jenna Elfman in her Dharma & Greg years (it was my haircut at the time, I think) and the husband, who obviously has been watching too much Sons of Anarchy, told me I look like Maggie Siff (I don't, but the husband does not look like Jax either). He also, God love him, compared me to Alyssa Milano (obviously, not the body).

What celebrity do you look like?


Eve said...

Fun topic. I never would have thought of it before, but you really do look like a brunette Jenna Elfman. I can see a Marisa Tomei vibe, too.

I feel about Kate Winslet the way you feel about Marissa Tomei. She seems real and beautiful and OVER 25. Someone once likened me to her, and it was perhaps the best compliment I've ever received. Otherwise, I've gotten Mena Suvari (a big reach, but I'll take it) and, a long time ago, Mira Sorvino.

k said...

Ahhhh, Jax.


I think you are awfully pretty.

I've been told that I look like a brown-haired Molly Ringwald and, well, I guess that's okay. It could be worse, I guess.

And outfits that fit are INDESCRIBABLY good for one's self-esteem.

Sarah said...

I don't look like any celebrity I know of. My mother in law always tells me I look Grecian... I think she's saying it in a complimentary way? lol. I think she's just trying to convince me that a prominent nose is distinguished!
I used to wear a ton of makeup on a regular basis, and I remember one day my best friend dared me to come to school naked faced. I did, a few minutes early, and she gasped and shoved me into the bathroom for some emergency mascara and blush. Apparently she was so used to seeing the China doll that my bare face looked horrifying!
Now it's kind of the other way around- I never wear makeup. When I do put it on for some special reason, people are all, "Wow! You look PRETTY!" Hah.

Laura said...

I think gray streaks in young-ish women's hair look fantastic. My neighbor, who is around 36, just went through a several-month period in which she stopped coloring her hair. It's now all grown in natural and looks wonderful--brown with gray throughout. It really suits her.

Last time I was told I looked like a celebrity, I was 14, and the celebrity was "Blossom." ;) I think it's the shape of my face that's similar.

I agree w/ you on Marissa Tomei--such graceful aging.

Erica said...

When I was in high school, people told me I looked like Claire Danes (I had My So-Called Life hair). Lately I've gotten Mary Louise Parker, but I think that's just because I'm a pale brunette.