From the bedroom during jammie time:
Daddyman: OH MAN! Beastie, there was poo in there. You have to give me a warning.
The Lad: Warning.
From the backseat of the car on the way home:
Daddyman: Since I'm home early, we can play baseball outside.
The Boy: OK, but Daddy, I only want to do pitching tonight. No games, no batting. I need to practice pitching.
Daddyman: I actually think you're better at throwing than batting --
The Boy: Yeah, but --
Daddyman: But you do need to practice catching.
The Boy: Yeah, I'm not very good at it.
Momma (teasing): Oh you're getting better. You catch more than me.
The Boy: Yeah, Momma doesn't catch ANYTHING.
On multiple occasions:
Daddyman/Momma (sternly to an ornery child): Who is the boss here?
The Lad: ME!
From the hallway, prebath:
The Lad (standing splay-legged): LICK MY BUTT, BRUCIE-DOGGIE!
It's never a dull moment around here.